After months of deliberation, the truth can finally be revealed as to why Scaddan refuses to call Heath & Normy. It seems he has red hair.This disturbing photo of Scaddan (above), was sent to The Heath & Normy Show by an undisclosed member of the public, angered by Scaddan's lack of diplomacy in putting the lads on air. As can be seen, the evidence is damning. Scaddan's blatantly 'cherry locks' are proudly displayed for all to see, as if he's preaching to the world that "people of coloured hair aren't welcome".
The shocking photograph was accompanied by a note that read: "Why aren't Heath & Normy on the radio? Red between the lines." It's impossible not to.
In what can only be described as a racially motivated attack against the up and coming comedy duo, Normy had this to say: "It's sad really. To think that even in 2009, with Obama as US president and all, that people like the 'Scadd man' still hold the colour of someone's hair against them. I'm lost for words. It's like the Baton Rouge all over again."
Even his outspoken sidekick, Heath, was unusually melancholy in his statement: "Look, if Scaddan and his magic lamp want to try and rub me the wrong way, he won't succeed. The extra-extra-white man can't keep me down! I'm seeing red over this. Literally."
After this unprovoked assault on the brothers of humour, they're left wondering where to from here. And unless Just For Men releases a 'Ruby Tuesday' colour variety soon, they may be left looking for a shift at the more ethnically accepting AM stations.
Heath and Normy,
ReplyDeleteI was shocked to learn of your poor treatment at the hands of a Ginger. It's hard to believe that in this day and age someone with gingervitis can be in a position of power. It's as if we've learnt nothing from history.
It is however part of a disturbing pattern that I have noticed emerging over the past two to three years. It appears as if the Gingers are taking up positions of power throughout the country and indeed the world. Despite having bright red curly hair, the density of which is similar to that of pubic hair, and being covered in strange multicoloured freckles, the gingers are getting jobs of power. More disturbing and perhaps a danger sign that things are only going to get worse, is that despite their alien like appearance they're picking up chicks. They're sowing the ginger seed in order to create an indefeatable army of red nuts.
We mustn't be complacent in this dangerous period in history. It's no coincidence that this 'Scadman' is the JJJ program director, Julia Gillard is the Deputy Prime Minister and Steve Hooker is winning Gold at the Olympics. The rise of the Ginger is upon us, we can either fight it or be wiped out by the recessive Ginger gene. Like most evil organisations they must have leader. It's imperative that this Red-terror be stopped before it's too late. The only way to stop it is to remove the leader. I think I know who is responsible for this freckly form of genocide.
Think about it, who was the original Ginger who took their place on centre stage? Who now has access to a television network and therefore the ability to mindwash millions of viewers? I put it to you that the man responsible for the red headed, freckle faced attack on life as we know it is none other than Mark Woodforde.
Think about it.
Zudius.